Haunted Haus: Part 2 - Ghosts
Welcome back to the Haunted Haus!
Picture this: your body is a house. What kind of house? A creaky Victorian? Or maybe a cottage in the woods? Are you an A-frame home? A rambler?
Imagine the rooms within you. In which ones do you feel most comfortable? Are there some that you never visit?
When you see something out of the corner of your eye, do you turn and look or do you avert your gaze? For now, let’s look.
It’s a ghost.
But what is it that’s haunting you? Is it a Casper-like entity; friendly, childlike, interested in nostalgia and play? Or is it something darker? We can be haunted by all kinds of things. Grief is a ghost. Trauma is a ghost.
(Other haunting presences might be the lingering possibility of a potential future that never came to be, ideas you buried prematurely, or elements of your identity that you reject.We’ll get into some of those next week.)
For now, we’ll focus on the ghosts of grief and trauma, exploring ways to honor our feelings and heal our broken hearts.
express yourself
it’s ok to be sad
Have you ever listened to sorrowful music while you were sad and thought, “why am I doing this to myself?”
Well, there’s a reason you might be feeling drawn to this activity - despite how painful it feels; listening to sad music when you're sad can actually be quite powerful and therapeutic. It can help you connect to feelings that you might generally push away, allowing for a release of pent up emotions.
Consider leaning into this impulse to mourn, and pair your sad music with some of the following art exercises:
If your fear and/or grief could manifest physically, what would it look like? (Think about Frida Kahlo’s art style as an example of how this might work for you)
Create art to represent pain that is impacting your life. Then take that artwork and rip it up, burn it, release it.
Create an emotional color wheel. Assign colors and/or shades to different emotions (happiness, passion, sadness, anxiety, etc.) then create work with the appropriate colors to represent the mix of feelings you’re experiencing
Using a collage method, create a representation of what a safe space would look like for you
your feelings are valid
On top of the pain of grief and trauma, we sometimes experience the additional pain that comes from invalidation of these feelings. Whether these messages are coming from external sources or originate inside of us, they make it difficult for us to move through our emotions without judgment. Consider using the following affirmations to remind yourself that your feelings are valid and they matter. You matter!
your grief is valid even if:
-You had high conflict with the person who is no longer in your life
-You never met the person whose loss you’re mourning
-You don’t cry or display outward signs of mourning
-You made a decision to end a relationship
-The death you experienced was that of a pet
-You’re grieving the end of an experience or the departure from a place that meant a lot to you
-Life has not been lost, but change has taken place
your trauma is valid even if:
-You never told anyone
-You can’t remember all of it
-You know people who have been through “worse”
-You didn't realize it was traumatic until later on
-It happened a long time ago
-You didn’t develop PTSD
-People didn’t believe you
smoke cleansing ritual
Sometimes, we can peacefully coexist with ghosts. We accept their presence, they accept ours, and we operate side by side. Other times they take up so much space that we can’t seem to move forward; there’s no room for other things. In that case, we need to help them move on, typically by communicating our boundaries and cleansing our space.
The same can be true for feelings that haunt us
Molly Farrell, a former therapist and current head-witch-in-charge at her lifestyle magic shop, The Wren + The Raven, has some advice for engaging in emotional cleansing:
“A few notes on smoke cleansing before we get into the ritual itself: safety first! You are dealing with fire so please take safety precautions. Also, make sure windows are open and there is plenty of ventilation before smoke cleansing. Keep pets and children away from smoke. Some animals, in particular, have sensitive respiratory systems and their bodies cannot process fragrances in the way that humans can.
Additionally, we would like to clarify that what we are talking about is not sage smudging. Sage smudging is an Indigenous North American spiritual practice and as such it is a closed practice. Consequently, we do not engage in sage smudging out of respect and a desire to avoid cultural appropriation.”
SET YOUR INTENTION
This might sound something like “I allow myself to feel these emotions and then let them pass” or “I release the tension in my body.” Choose the intention that best resonates with you.
CHOOSE AN HERB
Pick one that aligns with your need or intention. As Molly mentioned above, unless you are indigenous please don’t use white sage. Instead, research which herbs were commonly used for cleansing in the parts of the world your ancestors were from.
LIGHT YOUR HERB BUNDLE
Set fire to one end. Once it catches flame, gently blow it out so it begins to smolder and give off smoke. You may need to repeat this process until it smokes steadily.
CLEANSE YOURSELF
With your intention in mind, cleanse yourself by passing the bundle over your body and stepping into the smoke.
Pay special attention to the parts of your body that seem to be holding a lot of tension or emotional pain.
*once you are done, place your herb bundle on a heatproof plate or bowl and allow it to cool. The bundle should stop smoking fairly quickly
Thank you to Molly! be sure to check out the wren + the raven for more! here’s their instagram
Thanks for reading Part 2 of our Haunted Haus zine! We hope you’ll check back next week as we continue to explore the themes of this spooky season through a mental health lens.
